By Ezeodili E. Ekene

According to Carrie Cole, MEd, LPC-S, certified master trainer and director of research at The Gottman Institute.

“Research has shown that the way a problem is brought up determines both how the rest of that conversation will go and how the rest of the relationship will go. Many times an issue is brought up by attacking or blaming one’s partner, also known as criticism, and one of the killers of a relationship.

So start gently. Instead of saying, ‘You always leave your dishes all over the place! Why can’t you pick anything up?’ try a more gentle approach, focusing on your own emotional reaction and a positive request.

For example: ‘I get annoyed when I see dishes in the living room. Would you please put them back in the kitchen when you’re finished?’”


You can use magic words like “Please” Thank you” in your sentence to lessen the effect.

For example: ” Please, Take care of the dishes when you are done. Thanks”

That’s all for now, catch you next week

Bye 🙂


Leave a Reply