‘Work it Out’- with Vivian: Trump or Biden?

A debate ensued late last night on my school alumni Watsapp group. Members living in the United States and in the United Kingdom were mostly supporting Biden, while some of the Nigerian residents among us were tilting towards Trump.

The video of Nigerians marching the streets and rooting for Trump also re-surfaced and the foreign residents in our midst could not contain their disbelief that anyone could actually support Donald Trump after everything he has done.

He is said to be a woman grabber, a serial divorcee, one who is unfriendly to immigrants, one who ‘allowed’ hundreds of thousands of Americans die of Covid19 and someone who would abolish the ‘freebie’ under the National Health Service (NHS) as people currently know it.

Biden on the other hand is said to be someone who also touches women inappropriately, one who would legalise abortion and LGBT unions but would (or may) retain the NHS as it is and make American immigration policies more friendly.

A number of Nigerians also believe Biden and the Democrats represent Antichrist and anti-moral practices, while Trump is pro-christianity and pro-morality (even though accusations of his misconduct towards women, divorces and re-marriages, plus harsh immigration policies that even separates children from their parents sometimes, point in the opposite direction).

Then the entire debate eventually moved away from Trump vs Biden and came down to LGBT and Abortion choices/ laws. The women in the watsapp group who live abroad seem to support legalisation of abortion and do not care much about who sleeps with who, with respect to the LGBT practices.

I had to air my views at some point. And this was how my arguments with one of the ladies went:

Lady X: “And another thing with this abortion debate – why are so many men so fixated on controlling women’s bodies and their right to choose.”

Me, when I woke up: “Good morning. When people take alcohol or smoke cigarettes, they are warned about the consequences and side effects, even though it may be enjoyable. 

No one can take away those side effects with laws.

It will therefore be grossly inappropriate and anti-human/ anti-nature to decide to take away a pregnancy. It is not a disease that should be stopped. What gives humans the right to try to block pregnancies? 

That decision also involves two human beings – the baby and the mother. What happens to the choice of the baby to live?

What happens to control, I mean self control? A decision to choose to stay away from sex when one knows one is not able to handle the pregnancy that might come with it? 

Can they also enact laws to stop STDs?

Forced sex, underage sex and other sexual related crimes should instead be tackled. And very importantly, it is a crime to kill human beings. The crime of killing humans in the womb should be stopped!

O ginidi (what is it)?”

Lady X: “Like I said each to their own, contraception is not only used for “killing nature” there may be many other reasons a woman might use contraception, but for the sake of the men in this group I will not go into it.

Also the narrative that its becuase women dont stay away from sex and then get pregnant and then have an abortion is really not the case.

We are humans and the last time I checked I thought it was only God who can judge. I’m really confused why people cant see that sin is sin.

What if the pregnancy is non viable and continuing the pregnancy puts the woman’s life at risk? Women have died becuase doctors have refused to terminate a miscarriage. And we all know the challenges disabled people face in society, so we are now advocating for a fetus that has severe abnormalities to be born and live a life in pain and suffering? The pro lifers tend to disappear after that baby leaves the womb in most cases”.

Me: “There’s someone who always says, “If you think worshipping God is hard, try the devil”.

I will use the same analogy here.

If a woman has four to 7 children unplanned, and feels that life will be unbearable without the contraception, then she should try life with contraception.

It is horror and I am talking from experience. So I am not judging anyone. I am talking out of love and care.

Nature is free and best.

Let’s not talk more for the sake of the guys.

But my own testimonies about contraception would not be complete or even start, without the strong support of my husband”.

https://www.facebook.com/iudawareness/?ti=as. This page on FB tries to capture the effects of IUD. Though it’s just one of the contraceptives but it gives a glimpse into the other side of the contraceptive narrative that they don’t talk about.

Lady X: “No offence, but I think I’d rather get my medical facts from medical professionals and not Facebook.

I am very aware of the other side of many contraceptives. It’s amazing the male responsibility aspect is never mentioned…..but I digress.”

Me: “I don’t need a medical personnel to tell me what goes on in my body and the pains I feel”.

Lady X: “This is judgemental. Sometimes in a position of societal privilege, one can make judgements without understanding that not everyone is living the same life and have very different challenges.

Example – I used to look at homeless people and have some shameful thoughts about them, then realised many people end up on the streets due to things like domestic violence, childhood abuse/trauma. Ventrans suffering from severe mental health issues. This now led to increased empathy and understanding that not everyone is living the same life you are living hence reducing judging situations.”

Me: “If you think it is judgemental, then it’s ok. For me, the important thing is that it adequately captures exactly how terrible abortion laws are. Not only to the foetus, but the woman.

I say again, life is much harder with the abortion laws and contraceptives, than without them. Taking every other thing into consideration…”

Lady X: “In what way? How is life harder?”

Me: “But most importantly, they are anti-human.

The foetus should be allowed to choose if they want to live.

It’s not just about what suits the mother…”

Lady X: “But can I ask once the baby is born is it not pro life and pro human to ensure the child has a good life?

I’m yet to see any prolifer advocating for free medical care for children or zero tolerance attitude towards child labour. I mean who here can say they have never bought orange, gala or banana from a child hawking on the streets instead of being in school or playing.

In a way it is what suits the mother”.

Me: “Making sure the child has a good life is really not up to us.

Parents who have had the best plans and means have died in accidents, leaving the children orphaned.

Yet, they still grow up somehow and are ok.

It is God who raises the child”.

Lady X: “I say this with sincerity because when I’m in Nigeria and talk about children not being in school and the fact that medication and healthcare is not free for children I get laughed at and told I’m talking too much.

I’m talking about structures in place for children to have a good life. And it kind of is up to us a society……. yes God can do many things but humans need to put in the effort as well.

It’s just fascinating that people will advocate a woman must birth a child and then crickets when it’s time to ensure the structure is in place for all children to have the basics”.

Me: “Abortion laws will not fix societal inequalities. There will always be the poor and the less privileged in every society, not just Africans.

Killing humans is also not the answer to the problem of humanity.

It reminds me of a movie I saw on Netflix- ‘the Purge’. You should see the movie. You are advocating the same principles.

Nature and its dynamics or sustenance is very much beyond us”.

Lady X: “Wow. I’ve watched the purge and its actually comical to say I am advocating for the same”.

Me: “I think it’s the same thing you are saying”.

Lady X: “Nah it is not”.

Me: “Okay oo. I have made my points”

So ladies (and gents reading my post), what do you think? Make your comments below and let the debate continue.

Let us know what you feel or think about the use of contraceptives and about legalising abortion.

And… while at it, you can also make your prediction on who becomes America’s next president – Trump or Biden?

Women & Work, women in business, work life

Leave a Reply